Aaron Presley

If you can't tweet something nice, don't tweet anything at all.

2016 will always be the year I learned butter doesn't need to be refrigerated.

Taking my NyQuil neat ‘cause I’m the illest.

Local man downloads dating app "Tinder" in an attempt to not die alone. Will it work? More at 10.

You ever try to pretend the UPS guy is bringing you something important but you both know it’s just toothpicks in bulk?

The 20 silent seconds between each Netflix episode are the best moments of my day.

Quick question can medical science reattach finger tips? Unrelated: Loving my new veggie slicer!

A fun side effect of putting cucumber in my water is that now I'm better than everyone.

Just rededicated my life to ice cream.

Say it ain't so, @IFTTT: https://blog.pinboard.in/2016/03/my_heroic_and_lazy_stand_against_ifttt/ …

“Beets are our love vegetable.” Yes I’m definitely in the right gate. See you soon Portland.

I’ve never had pets, but I do have 3 cast iron skillets that I really really love.

Tis the season for older people to talk about how younger people stare at their phones too much these days.

Oh, me? I’m dressed as a guy that eats most of his meals in burrito form.

All Pandora roads lead to Drake.

Two weeks in a non-English speaking country and I’ve forgotten what it’s like to understand money or ordering food or really anything.

Check out our new facelift: http://brewnotice.com . Featuring appearances by @ImperialBttlShp and @BaerlicBrewing.

"I made another useless social app, better write a self-important Medium post w/ Steve Jobs quotes & commentary on the human condition" Barf

My new Roombmate sucks, but at least it picks up after itself. https://instagram.com/p/2JWCFIvHq9/