Aaron Hierholzer

@aaronhierholzer

absolutely sure of everything

Austin, Texas
facebook.com/aaronhierholzer
Joined November 2008
5 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

You blocked @aaronhierholzer

Are you sure you want to view these Tweets? Viewing Tweets won't unblock @aaronhierholzer

  1. Apr 26

    I take out my earbuds like I'm a female executive removing earrings as she arrives home in 1989 after firing half her staff for incompetence

    1 like
  2. Apr 25

    (me as a boss) "Don't bring me a problem w/o a sincere apology that there's a problem in the first place"

    1 like
  3. Apr 24

    (bougie starbucks mom disciplining) “not only are you grounded, breanna... you’re drinking folger’s for three weeks”

    1 like
  4. Apr 18

    How to mildly annoy a barista: Ask the wifi password How to enrage a barista: Then ask if that’s "all one word"

  5. Retweeted
    Apr 15

    come on dude don't worry it'll be funny

    1 reply 21 retweets 74 likes
  6. Apr 16

    Personally I think it would’ve been thoughtful of JC to also do those two thieves, maybe that’s just me.

    1 reply 1 like
  7. Apr 15

    I'm not a coward. I just have a very strong survival instinct.

  8. Mar 29

    Quick q for thought leaders: should I be embracing failure

    1 retweet 2 likes
  9. Feb 12

    STILL writing my old name on every check.

  10. Retweeted
    Jan 30

    Just wanted to point out that the White House press secretary now prints and holds up tweets the president has issues with

    3,087 replies 44,605 retweets 60,002 likes
  11. Retweeted
    Jan 28

    We're witnessing a science experiment about how many people can suffer just so one weak man can pretend to know what he's doing.

    27 replies 970 retweets 2,060 likes
  12. Jan 25

    You were the best

    1 retweet 1 like
  13. Jan 23

    when you realize 30 minutes in that you've already seen this dateline mystery

    1 retweet 1 like
  14. Jan 23

    Why are my just "remember that failed joke you made at a house party in 2004"

    1 like
  15. Retweeted
    Jan 21

    It is a valiant effort not just to lie but to lie preposterously. Few (of us) could do it.

    He did look a little stressed at his first press briefing today. Not good for the heart.
    2 replies 14 retweets 38 likes
  16. Jan 21

    people who use their tongues to pull in potato chips

  17. Jan 19

    I'd like a therapist who wears an eyepatch

  18. Retweeted
    22 Feb 2014

    Sometimes, I floss so vigorously...I almost garrote my fingers.

    6 replies 6 retweets 11 likes
  19. Retweeted
    Jan 4

    Alexa, if our society isn't ruled by patriarchical ideals, why are all of our digital artificially intelligent servants women?

    36 replies 502 retweets 1,002 likes
  20. Jan 4

    I love Robert Palmers, the half-tea half-lemonade drinks invented by the golfer. They are simply irresistible

    1 like

@aaronhierholzer hasn't Tweeted yet.

Loading seems to be taking a while.

Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

    You may also like

    ·