there's a similarity between not knowing you are dreaming when inside a dream and not knowing you are being "fake" when you are performing
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many gamers get mad when their character gets defeated in a game. they become "toxic" because in order to play the game well they become "one" with the character. the game becomes life and loss triggers the same anger and fear as actual deathhttps://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1411877541107822592 …
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this means that even if you are a hooman and are playing a literal spaceship or an orc or a monster that you can STILL get confused even though it's literally a fictional species or an inanimate object
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you could say that "all life is just the performance of God" and end smother the line of questioning with woo but there *is* something to feeling "real" and feeling "fake" yes? there *is* a difference to a dream and reality even though it's only obvious in retrospect yes?
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similar to lucid dreamers, there's a way to habitually "check yourself" like with dreamers, as a habit it a becomes an idiosyncrasy and part of your character. e.g. you can't literally be trying to fly all the time and not come across as somewhat "airheaded"
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this is "humility". a constant background process of "do i really understand everything that's going on?" "is this really who i am?" it creates a "listening" to life rather than an acting of life
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the point isn't to always be listening. u need to eat and poop and kill and so on. but it leverage how obvious it is when you lose track of a conversation "sorry i wasn't listening, can you repeat that?"
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w/o humility, it's too easy to be lost in the story you tell yourself (a distinctively hooman ability) with humility you can declare arrogantly "i am a level 99 elf god wizard of the barren lands" and smite your opponents but also not literally declare that on a date
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if you DO feel the need to project such an identity then the date is likely happening online within the game. still a date yes, but between puppets. the relationship IS real but doesn't feel real to YOU because it's between the puppetspic.twitter.com/5ttAVgiuv3
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the opposite of humility is typically "arrogance" but that doesn't ring true for most for most, it is "specialness"
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many "specials" tend towards spiritual paths where they proclaim their alignment with all that is natural being "natural" (an expression of the one divine, normie) AND being "special" (an emphasis on the unique importance of a specific self) conflict of interests
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basically, being yourself boils down to not trying to be special a surfer or pianist for e.g. isn't *trying* to be special even if they have unique skills. they are just living their lives just as i am simply a cat
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you could say that adhd is actually a strongly ingrained habit where trying hard at something is indistinguishable from trying to be special there's no motivation unless there's a clear path to a unique "me" being createdhttps://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1407179534961504256 …
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actually, maybe it’s more like an “opportunity to be seen”. for someone who feels invisible, being seen is equivalent to being “special” this destroys capacity for self-motivated tasks that are done just for the sake of it
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all actions are either done for the sake of an audience, or done to avoid the spotlight of a “bad”audience (this can be simultaneously achieved by avoiding the majority audience in favor of minority audience stardom)
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End of conversation
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