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> Most people never get beyond knowing what they don't want. That's a major reason why so many relationships fail: neither partner knows exactly what he or she wants.

> Our first love is the relationship we have with ourselves, and since most people don't like themselves very much, they never get past the first phase of loving others. To be happy in a marriage or a committed relationship, you must know what you want for yourself

> Being committed means you are willing to act as if your choices will make a difference > To get what you want out of life, it's not enough just to know how much change is necessary. You have to decide exactly what kind of person you intend to be after the change

> The only way to ensure that you'll achieve success in anything is to make sure that how you feel about yourself isn't dependent on other people's approval or affirmation. In other words, you must have a deep sense of self-worth

> If you want to make a change, then you have to be willing to accept responsibility for every aspect of your life. And if being responsible means that you're going to fail, so be it

> Most people are conditioned to believe that whatever happens to them is a result of something they did or didn't do

> A lot of people are committed to the outcome they want, but they're not committed to the action steps that will get them there

> We only become what we want if we're willing to commit ourselves fully to a change in identity. And this means being committed long enough for our actions to become habits.