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stop smoking to live longer? be smart to make more money? work out to get a partner? change genders to fully express yourself? lose weight to be pretty? wrong. the outcome doesn't matter if it doesn't change the feeling

this acknowledges the role of Self just like having a compass prevents one from ignoring Northhttps://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1397203359954841612 …

the adhd individual is handicapped at this because of a few reasons: 1/ affirmation is arrested at the parental phase, the power to change internal state is given away to parents/society or some other external source

2/ bc of the coping mechanism of keeping the mind busy and not finishing tasks (to avoid the emptiness of Done) "success" is habituated to be fleeting why put in all the work if the reward will be fleeting?

"everything is about how you FEEL" is connected to another "everything" goal that of love adhd prevents working towards large goals b/c the reward from large goals is capped. the reward from a small goal is the same.

if one feels that "love doesn't exist", relationship effort is limited as the reward from a shallow relationship is the same as a deep one it's like constantly harvesting and drinking wheatgrass juice w/o realizing that it grows into wheat to make bread with

to act as if love doesn't exist actually keeps the hope that it DOES exist alive the relationship has to be self-sabotaged before it progresses into new territory b/c failure in new territories of intimacy destroys hope

if it's literal Hope that the grass is greener on the other side of Impossible Task is what's keeping you alive. why risk the One Thing that keeps you sane? from the ego's perspective, there's no reason to risk death. it optimizes for survival, not meaningful life.