before setting out on a goal it is useful to acknowledge that you want to change how you FEEL about life. NOT the specific secular outcome
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the adhd individual is handicapped at this because of a few reasons: 1/ affirmation is arrested at the parental phase, the power to change internal state is given away to parents/society or some other external source
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2/ bc of the coping mechanism of keeping the mind busy and not finishing tasks (to avoid the emptiness of Done) "success" is habituated to be fleeting why put in all the work if the reward will be fleeting?
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"everything is about how you FEEL" is connected to another "everything" goal that of love adhd prevents working towards large goals b/c the reward from large goals is capped. the reward from a small goal is the same.
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if one feels that "love doesn't exist", relationship effort is limited as the reward from a shallow relationship is the same as a deep one it's like constantly harvesting and drinking wheatgrass juice w/o realizing that it grows into wheat to make bread with
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to act as if love doesn't exist actually keeps the hope that it DOES exist alive the relationship has to be self-sabotaged before it progresses into new territory b/c failure in new territories of intimacy destroys hope
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if it's literal Hope that the grass is greener on the other side of Impossible Task is what's keeping you alive. why risk the One Thing that keeps you sane? from the ego's perspective, there's no reason to risk death. it optimizes for survival, not meaningful life.
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love as typically romanticized always involves a partner. however it's really about is how one deals with OTHER. this includes boss, colleagues, friends, parents, lovers, and most importantly, the voice in your head.
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the hollywood "One" serves as a plot device that allows hope to be encased and protected in an impenetrable box b/c of how impossible the standards are everything else is easily achieved relative to this so offers no protection
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love is the same energy that inspires one to create a Cathedral, a Great Work that cannot be finished within a lifetime love thus is the acceptance of hopelessnesshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EvvPZFdjyk …
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it is the acceptance of the hopelessness that someone OTHER, including the voice in your head, can ever make you change how you feel about life that you cannot convince yourself or another through debate & argumentation to love life that love is not rational
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End of conversation
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