if the family environment was unable to provide this you can do this for yourself via a “magic” skill involved delegated physicality such as piano or juggling
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the ability to believe in non-coercive strategies that allows you to be in your own best friend rather than your own worst enemy constantly whipping and criticizing you for being a piece of shit is viscerally feeling at least one instance of it WORKING
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you practice in a way that applies consciousness to break down the difficult task and train the body. after putting in enough reps, the atomic motion feels magically “learned” and conscious though can be applied to the next chunk
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at each step the thing being practiced feels easy, simple, and fun but when put together you do something that previously felt impossible
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in such domains, you want to break things down until they are fun. if it’s frustrating, it means you need to find a youtube video or pay someone to break it down for you. continuing to work through frustration is a robert pirsig “gumption trap”
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e.g. for anyone who doesn’t know how to juggle and would like to try an unorthodox method of not being the source of all your problems, try:https://youtu.be/dCYDZDlcO6g
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