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while poly *can* be an expression of the divine, for most it is just an excuse to leave the boring job of standing guard (& refusing to amid the sense of Sacred has faded) OR status signaling that nothing really bad happens in your world b/c u can leave ur door unlocked

e.g. tech and finance bros are often sought out b/c they bring you into a "safe" world that is protected by the shield of money & social leverage. poly is accepted b/c once in this world u r safe

in a less stable domain, being with gangsta man or the son of a military general or government official might be the equivalent in both cases the desire is for SAFETY so that the additional desires of the masculine are overlooked as the cost of the relationship

however in a relationships where she wants someone SPECIFIC to be there to share in joys and sorrows, then poly feels painful b/c there is a constant sense of abandonment

in choosing poly w/o recognizing these tradeoffs one can become someone who brings safety but gives up the ability to bring unique joy b/c if u r not a unique source of joy for someone then u r a COMMODITY