4/ another way of doing this is judging people by “what they have” e.g. if i want to buy a house, i’d ask someone who has a lot of houses
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13/ other places did the opposite. they embraced “what you have” the havers would tell the non-havers what to do. sometimes they’d lie of course just because as you know, being Boss can be pretty fun!
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14/ but because you could just leave and say “i think you’re lying!” people who wanted to STAY boss had to keep coming up with useful things for their followers to do. overall this incentivized better “leaders” b/c otherwise no one would follow them
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15/ this actually worked a lot better than forcing everyone to be friends even when they didn’t want to be. remember when you were so mad at your friend that you didn’t speak to him? that passive aggressiveness brought the whole community down bc noone could communicate
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16/ vs with “what you have” you could say “that guy is showing a better way of getting lots of gold, i’m going there” and there’s be no hard feelings. everyone could speak their mind and ask for what they wanted
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17/ there is a downside though. remember how “who you know” is the basis of small communities? when everyone shifts to “what you have” then the only thing being communicated is “what i WANT!”
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18/ just like sometimes parents will say that you need to go to bed or can’t eat too many cookies what you want isn’t always what’s best for you. sometimes you won’t understand why but you trust that they love you and want the best for you right?
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19/ with “who you know” the inability to KNOW for sure if someone will give you what you want is a feature. you have to make that leap of faith and build a relationship that is not purely about getting what each other wants.
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20/ imagine if you said “want to play with me?” and a friend replies “only if you pay me 1 cookie ” that would feel pretty bad right?
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21/ right now, all the adults in the world are trying to figure out the right combination of “who you know” and “what you have” so that everyone is happy.
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22/ it’s not going very well. everyone is arguing over whether or not “who you know” is better or “what you have” is better. they forget that the original question was figuring out “what you can DO” maybe you can think of a better way?
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End of conversation
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