the hooman-that-identifies-as-intellectual has a special "prowling" mode where it will purposely look for things to be offended by by imbuing combinations of letters with self-interpreted meaning
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by trying to mimic this kind of "thought", an impossible ideal is set. this leads to constant feelings of inferiority and a repression of internal thoughts. the internal thoughts become REPLACED with the polished regurgitations of external memorizations
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access to the raw process would eliminate this feeling of inferiority but it comes at the price of destroying the image of the "hero" that was worshipped seeing how much scrap a writer/musician/artist has to churn through the reaction is "damn, too much work"
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the hero is scorned and the self moves on because it desires a magical domain where it doesn't have to "try" and is just good at everything "finding my passion" as a euphemism for "the end result is achieved instantly and w/o struggle"
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this "struggle" however is not the struggle of suffering. if you are in the right domain, it is far more often the struggle of patiencehttps://www.ribbonfarm.com/2011/08/19/the-calculus-of-grit/#:~:text=they%20think%20i%20must%20possess%20superhuman%20willpower%20because%20they%20make%20a%20very%20simple%20projection%20error%3A …
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