🐈

this is bc what is destroyed is not a specific joint or weld but something deeper and more foundational. similar to how aids attacks the immune system and compromises everything else when something foundational is destroyed, every minor irritant becomes a reason for divorce

however, similar to the brutal treatment that is chemotherapy, a relationship in this state can potentially be saved with a brutal form of radical honesty

when a loved parent dies, the child often is knotted up bc of the desire to HATE the parent for leaving and abandoning, yet this feels unreasonable

similarly, in a miscarriage or a child’s death there is a feeling of abandonment and a HATE for that which has done the abandoning what twists the hoomans up inside is the repression of this hate bc they fear unleashing it. it makes them feel evil.

this form of hate for those who die and leave us is at its core a hate for god. this so called benevolent and all powerful force that makes it so that all is as intended and the only thing that needs to be done is Acceptance

in the face of the destruction of the sacred and that which brings meaning into Life, this Acceptance feels like a bad joke. to be told to swallow what you find revolting ends only in hating Everything

yet at the core of this Hate for everything is the original Refusal to hate that which has abandoned us.