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back when i was a wee kitten i remember doing very well on a multiplications test, finishing first with 100% that single event seared into me an identity of being "good at math" and boosted me through all of primary education

those who do not have these experiences do not have the affirmation energy that allows them to create identities that give them advantages in their environment this is especially true when the home entirely delegates schooling to the system

families that KNOW the importance of math for example will beat the math into the child regardless of whether or not they have a "good at math" identity formation event. *cough* asians *cough*

families that fully delegate this leave their children's fate to the lord of the flies social dynamics of children those who do not have affirming experiences end up feeling STUPID over multiplication and that fucks up their ENTIRE life's math education

this is because social hierarchies are inherently sticky. if a social dynamic forms where i am smart and others are dumb and we are friends we cannot shake up the identities or risk fracturing the social bond

i NEED someone to be the "dumb but athletic or good at video games" because if i feel threatened that someone else is going to surpass me at multiplication, then we cannot be friends because now it is a competition