back when i was a wee kitten i remember doing very well on a multiplications test, finishing first with 100% that single event seared into me an identity of being "good at math" and boosted me through all of primary education
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families that KNOW the importance of math for example will beat the math into the child regardless of whether or not they have a "good at math" identity formation event. *cough* asians *cough*
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families that fully delegate this leave their children's fate to the lord of the flies social dynamics of children those who do not have affirming experiences end up feeling STUPID over multiplication and that fucks up their ENTIRE life's math education
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this is because social hierarchies are inherently sticky. if a social dynamic forms where i am smart and others are dumb and we are friends we cannot shake up the identities or risk fracturing the social bond
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i NEED someone to be the "dumb but athletic or good at video games" because if i feel threatened that someone else is going to surpass me at multiplication, then we cannot be friends because now it is a competition
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so what happens is that instead of crystallizing energy and effort into compounding secular knowledge, it is instead wasted on maintaining social dynamics which are far more fashionable and ephemeral
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traditionally this was the main criticism of the male towards the female hooman. that she "wasted" all her energy on social things instead of "real" things (like being able to throw a brown olive shaped ball 100 yards)
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however, it's quite possible that maintaining social connections IS the high intensity work that actually forced the chimps to develop bigger and bigger brains. b/c social dynamics have constant red-queen constant drain it incentivized big brains
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species that could crystallize their advantage into sth like sharper claws, faster legs, or stronger jaws had "real" advantages that didn't need constant "wasted" upkeep like pretty flowers and "o u look so fabs!" so they had smaller brains b/c they didn't need it
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the point is, social activity is highly engaging because it triggers large brain rewards. however if ALL resources are dumped into increasing social status it's like maxing a credit card to keep up with the joneses just like credit, high social status should be *used* for sth
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this is why the higher you go in a social hierarchy the more pressured you are to lead and tell everybody what to do. u have to constantly justify y u are being looked to (both to others AND urself) it's like having to take care of 100 dogs. very stressful.
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it forces you in a state of constant urgency meaning there's no surplus time/energy to recalibrate importance CEOs for example almost never philosophize and always want bullet sized actionable pragmatic advice
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in summary. when the small child does bad one time on a test or sth else that seals off certain beneficial identities, that can lead to a LIFETIME of urgently trying to prove worthiness in some other formhttps://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1379159718162141184 …
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End of conversation
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