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If you actually gift something, you don’t retain rights in what was gifted, absent an express agreement to the contrary.

haha, wonder if giving vs gifting confusion is the source of all resentment

Say more? I definitely think people often label manipulation as giving/gifting. Instead of making explicit that they view the gift as a desire for trade, they call it a gift & then try to hold the recipient to their imagined contract or resent non-performance.

i think the gifter/giver themselves often isn‘t clear if they are gifting or giving. most *think* they are gifting but are not. e.g. the same way not knowing how to love hurts someone, not knowing how to gift is indirectly the source of resentment