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it only makes sense when it is driven by an idea of a "true self". since that true self can't be changed since it is True, the ONLY logical option left is to contort the world (similar to carol dweck's growth/fixed mindset)

thus ironically the more one strives to force the world into legibility, the more contorted the sense of self becomes because the contorted reality is now projecting a distortion like trying to bottle a whirlpool or sunlight. it just bottles disappointment

one attempt at capturing the true self comes in the form of jung's "eating the shadow" aside from the tropey "excuse to be an asshole", the wrong dissatisfaction can also result in eating someone ELSE'S shadow instead of your own

the friendzoned-incel stereotype is an example of mutual shadow face stuffing the friend believes he is approaching inner sanctums of female sexuality "omg she's talking about sex, periods, and FEELINGS with me, i'm so manly" while actually distancing himself from his real goal

she believes she is just being nice but is actually grooming him to be a missing surrogate father/therapist/priest figure they think they are growing in understanding of each other but they are actually just sharing shadow snacks

thus the wrong dissatisfaction leads to increasing clarity of understanding of other over time but ironically also increasing dissatisfaction this can lead to very weird situations where there are lots of single boys/girls looking for togetherness together and no one finding it

(an engineer usually jumps up here and shouts 'THE PROBLEM IS EFFICIENT DISTRIBUTION" and invents some variation of polyamory which works by all measurable factors but everyone still grows lonelier and lonelier except the engineer who is pretty proud of himself)

the famous-person equivalent is a growing number of followers and fans but an increasing sense of alienation which tries to be resolved through increasing/catering follower/fans even more