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Due to squashing their feelings through the denial of power the child becomes more and more capable or pretending to have feelings. This is one of the reasons why intellectual discussion has no place in therapy – it has nothing to do with healing inner wounds from early childhood

An addict to knowledge always remembers: “I am my thoughts and my achievements alone” and will feel empty unless they are engaged in some sort of thought process or research. It can be anything from reading an article or book to writing one

For an addict of knowledge there is no distinction between “being right” and “making my thoughts matter.” Stupidity feels like death- they will go to any lengths to avoid it because it makes them feel worthless

It can be easy for us to overlook that every time we engage in argument we are screaming at our parents for validation

Narcissists seek out professions where they are afforded control over what goes into people’s heads (such as religion, science, politics.)

The upside of this mess: In order to survive, those children learn early on that they will have to rely on themselves, and meld their emotional reality with their intellectual reality and become very creative thinkers.

The pain is too deep to express, so it is expressed as anger.

The sense of self is thus dependent on other people for its survival. Specialness is inherently unstable as it is only recognized by others.