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The child will carry this addiction into adulthood and seek out people they can “teach” something too. They want desperately to feel that they exist as more than just a thought in anyone else’s head.

The achievement addict often experiences periods of emptiness after 25 -35 years of life because they realize that no one person has the time to listen to them for hours every day about all their thoughts and accomplishments.

A person whose true feelings have been denied will engage in a constant struggle to “feel” the reality of their existence

The concept of “depression” is just this mental loop we get stuck in. It is how society encourages us to feel bad about our own thoughts which is a convenient way of avoiding them

We are led to believe that if we absorb enough information then we will be able to connect all the dots and figure out what the hell is going on here – but there aren’t any dots! Our life experience itself is the only answer we will ever get

The religious person thinks that since their thoughts and emotions give them meaning, (and therefore matter), then everyone else should learn to be like them or else! They will frequently tell others how their beliefs and emotions are correct but others are incorrect…

Due to squashing their feelings through the denial of power the child becomes more and more capable or pretending to have feelings. This is one of the reasons why intellectual discussion has no place in therapy – it has nothing to do with healing inner wounds from early childhood

An addict to knowledge always remembers: “I am my thoughts and my achievements alone” and will feel empty unless they are engaged in some sort of thought process or research. It can be anything from reading an article or book to writing one

For an addict of knowledge there is no distinction between “being right” and “making my thoughts matter.” Stupidity feels like death- they will go to any lengths to avoid it because it makes them feel worthless

It can be easy for us to overlook that every time we engage in argument we are screaming at our parents for validation

Narcissists seek out professions where they are afforded control over what goes into people’s heads (such as religion, science, politics.)

The upside of this mess: In order to survive, those children learn early on that they will have to rely on themselves, and meld their emotional reality with their intellectual reality and become very creative thinkers.

The pain is too deep to express, so it is expressed as anger.

The sense of self is thus dependent on other people for its survival. Specialness is inherently unstable as it is only recognized by others.

The child growing up in an abusive environment is forced to live IN the thoughts of others and not have a life of their own.

In order to feel good about themselves they have a compulsion to collect achievement badges that allow outside confirmation of their importance (which they’ve always felt). These external achievements can become so important that they interfere with the achievement itself

This is ultimately what makes addicts so frustrated in love relationships – they want someone who is capable of completely filling them up with their perfect love and devotion but they themselves can never feel truly satisfied by another person

They are never sure if they deserve love or not due to the feelings of unworthiness engendered by their experiences in childhood. Consequently, they become dependent on external validation of their existence as a person. (And here is the great irony because….)

Getting external validation doesn’t make one feel loved! It only makes one feel as if one were more valuable than others & then one feels superior but not Loved! That sense of superiority can even be an uncomfortable feeling for some people so they seek out ways to get rid of it!

Some people may also seek out sexual attention (not necessarily for sex but for physical contact) as a way to have their existence affirmed or unconditionally validated by another human being.