the Father yelled "i don't want no daughter o mine being the world's masturbation tool no matter HOW much it pays!" she shrieked "but this makes me popular with the boys AND the girls! i don't want you stupid dad jokes and mom's broken attempts at love!"
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"oh. my. god. what an ungrateful daughter for not appreciating what a beautiful garden of eden you've built here. let's discipline her together!" and so they got married
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