interesting article on willpower: https://astralcodexten.substack.com/p/towards-a-bayesian-theory-of-willpower?r=morh&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&utm_source=copy#main:~:text=Dopamine%20affects%20all%20these%20systems%20in,amount%20of%20evidence%20for%20a%20hypothesis ….
if the hooman has egoically bound sense of self into the model, increasing willpower feels like the threat of dying. the raindrops cannot be allowed to become hailstones because "everything that i am" would not survive the battering
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hmmm.... this would imply that a "beginner's mind" is actually necessary for willpower. a "master's mind" has no need for willpower since everything it does is "perfect" and "correct" (yet the true master's maintain beginner's mind)
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so perhaps the root issue with lack of willpower is a disguised arrogance. kinda like the 'i'm always the dumbest person in the room' or 'i'm always reading new books' humble brags.
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it's interesting to note that these are stereotypical passive aggressive reactions from former "now-reformed" arrogants "i used to think i was rich as a millionaire but now i know i'm poor since my friends r now billionaires" when talking to someone they KNOW isn't a millionaire
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e.g. the depressed hooman is quite arrogant when they say 'life is not worth living what's the use everything is meaningless' God is like "really?? is the Everything not good enough for you. well sooorry. i'll try harder next time i create Something from literally Nothing."
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even for something as seemingly innocuous as 'y aren't i motivated to exercise' there's the arrogance of thinking it should be easy given the right motivation. good habits are like superweapons. building them up isn't as simple as just wanting it really badly
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same for money. it's easy to blame rich people and unfair systems and want to be a millionaire in 3 yrs it's harder to see the laborer spending his entire life so that his children can go to college. the expectations are completely out of whack.
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y should u deserve to have healthy eating habits or exercising habits? y should u deserve to be good at dating? y should u deserve to feel like you deserve to live? the last one is particularly mean but the pattern is the same. you are taking something for GRANTED
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so anyway, as master oogway said before disappearing into a shower of sakura petals: "the present, which is the immortal cutting edge of Nothingness transmuting into Somethingness is a gift and you should totally appreciate it and not like take it granted yo"
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