training a dog to drop something is a good example of why fear is a terrible motivator. the dog will just learn to swallow it as fast as possible, the exact opposite of the desired behavior.
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positive reinforcement such as “trading” for a high value treat ingrains the habit so that the action is done willingly even when the treat is phased out
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more abstractly this is about focusing on OTHER rather than SELF. dropping the thing because Other wants it to be dropped vs hyper focusing on fear in Self
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interestingly enough this means that pain without fear is also valid as a way of setting boundaries. e.g. if you bump into things and fall down as you ride a bike, the pain provides information but not fear
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fear however IS a kind of pain as well so it can be tempting to use it to set boundaries in the same way. and it does. however it is a special kind of boundary that delineates your span of control
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anything outside of the fear boundary is “u can’t go there b/c i have no power there”
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many Strict Father figures for example DO NOT know how to save someone from drug addiction, suicidal thoughts, or the allure of indirect or direct prostitution. they are overly strict with fear boundaries b/c they are helpless once the child passes those thresholds
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once past those thresholds the return falls to guardian angels who may or may not (and often accidentally) provide some guiding light. yet even with then light the journey to leave the shadowlands is a highly personal one. angels will provide the torch. you must walk the path.
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because of this independence the masculine essence has an innate advantage since it is less concerned with societal rejection and ostracism. it is easier for the Fucker to go “fuck you!”
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the feminine as such is traditionally protected from venturing into the shadowlands through higher pain/fear boundaries. burka, genital mutilation, etc...
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this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. notice how there are no heroic redemption arcs for the whore archetype. there is always an elements of permanent brokenness even if they devoutly become a holy nun. bandit/anti-hero archetypes on the other-hand can still become king.
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the highest as of now seems to be “magical witch wife of enlightened sex guru cult master” or “sheryl sandberg with a mysterious past”
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so anyway, that’s how you train a dog to drop something it’s holding.
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End of conversation
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