the point is not to have no desires, the point is to be able to desire things without having a certain outcome be necessary for happiness.
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so the question is... why are most desires tied to happiness? my theory is that it's b/c most desires are mimetic. because the desire goes through a surrogate, the surrogate's approval (or the mental model of the surrogate) becomes NECESSARY
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if the desire were truly your OWN desire then the outcome wouldn't be as necessary because you can more easily choose to not need it. if i desire pizza but no pizza is available then o well i will eat a mouse. BUT if my date wants pizza then o no, now there's ANXIETY.
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tangent: this is y doctor's can give bad advice. there was a study done where doctor's would give themselves different advice for the same symptoms than a patient. they might refuse surgery b/c "i'll just live w/ the pain" but b/c the patients problem is "i have pain"...
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so... the first step is to tease out your "True" desires with your surrogate or mimetic desires. do NOT skip this part and try to do the self-actualization-become-a-real-boy thing before being able to answer this question. (u will fuck urself)
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u can go to a monastery if u want... traditionally this isolation from others helped. but if ur goal is to come back so u can proudly tell others that you now identify as someone who went to a monastery then well...https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1339052608758161414?s=20 …
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