🐈

to put it another way... hoomans are born needy and mature as they become less needy. many incels are hoomans who thinks being less needy is a binary state and so end up pretending to not need anything and never improves.

money can be a trap here because it's a short-term fix to solve neediness. if u "need to work" or "need to eat" or "need to buy that iphone" then having money resolves those needs. the trap is that all the needs coalesce into the monolithic "i need more money" need.

so the question is... why are most desires tied to happiness? my theory is that it's b/c most desires are mimetic. because the desire goes through a surrogate, the surrogate's approval (or the mental model of the surrogate) becomes NECESSARY

if the desire were truly your OWN desire then the outcome wouldn't be as necessary because you can more easily choose to not need it. if i desire pizza but no pizza is available then o well i will eat a mouse. BUT if my date wants pizza then o no, now there's ANXIETY.

tangent: this is y doctor's can give bad advice. there was a study done where doctor's would give themselves different advice for the same symptoms than a patient. they might refuse surgery b/c "i'll just live w/ the pain" but b/c the patients problem is "i have pain"...

so... the first step is to tease out your "True" desires with your surrogate or mimetic desires. do NOT skip this part and try to do the self-actualization-become-a-real-boy thing before being able to answer this question. (u will fuck urself)