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if the transmutation happens internally, this repression takes on the form of guilt or shame. because this is unbearable, it is projected onto an external source. a scapegoat. this guilt/shame then becomes a source of anger.

that is, society deals with the anger it cannot contain by re-directing ad exhaust into something external and outside society. if this redirection fails to redirect externally and pools somewhere internally, this splits “society”

just like the anti-gay politician often turns out to be a closet gay, the Nice Guy is also often a source of the greatest anger. their “perfect” facade is a symptom of perfect repression.

perfect repression turns into unconscious privilege which is the highest form of passive aggression. it’s the “aggressor” truly asking and trying to be kind while speaking downwards “tell me what’s wrong so that I, Mr. Fix it can fix it.”

(notice the link to stereotypical men/women arguments around Mr. Fix It and you’ll see why the yin/yang dynamic is core to every conflict)

yin often is a source of hate that creates anger in yang because that hate is interpreted as malicious rather than an unavoidable aspect of Dealing With Reality.

once the loop completes and yang becomes the source of hate then the relationship shatters and it spirals uncontrollably into continuous psychic or physical violence.

the yang aspect is always the source of the violence but the yin aspect is always the source of that source. but the yang aspect is the source of that source and so on. there is no right or wrong. it’s just a shitty recursive function that takes up all the resources.