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hate is the “GIMME THAT TOY!!” of the puppy. it’s not malicious but arises from a mismatch between expectations/reality combined with poor impulse control. there is something Other in this Big World that is Getting in My Way.

anger is the realization that continued application of hate can affect the world. it’s weaponized hate rather than an emotional reaction. it’s a dangerous trap b/c while it can get you what you want, it also prevents you from enjoying what you get.

and the solution? more hate to get more of what you want because of the lack of satisfaction. thus hate spirals infinitely upwards until it hits the ceiling of socially accepted behavior where it is transmuted into repression.

if the transmutation happens internally, this repression takes on the form of guilt or shame. because this is unbearable, it is projected onto an external source. a scapegoat. this guilt/shame then becomes a source of anger.

that is, society deals with the anger it cannot contain by re-directing ad exhaust into something external and outside society. if this redirection fails to redirect externally and pools somewhere internally, this splits “society”

just like the anti-gay politician often turns out to be a closet gay, the Nice Guy is also often a source of the greatest anger. their “perfect” facade is a symptom of perfect repression.

perfect repression turns into unconscious privilege which is the highest form of passive aggression. it’s the “aggressor” truly asking and trying to be kind while speaking downwards “tell me what’s wrong so that I, Mr. Fix it can fix it.”

(notice the link to stereotypical men/women arguments around Mr. Fix It and you’ll see why the yin/yang dynamic is core to every conflict)