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the reason hate comes hand in hand with love is that love is the relationship in which people can hate and be hated by each other yet the relationship endures. a relationship without love cannot survive hate and so is not observed. just as death of self is never observed by 'I'.
all observed instances of hate then are really 'i-don't-want-to-love-get-these-feelings-outta-my-head' as such hate is defined in terms of love and so never dispels unless one gives up the desire for love as well. that is. Apathy becomes the only way to not hate.
if love is what IS that survives despite hoping for what is NOT then love involves an element of coercion. to fall for someone is not have control over gravity's pull over you as you fall into a hole.
very few people have actually felt what it feels like to Actually Take Responsibility. many people ppl think of responsibility as suppression of personal needs. every enemy is a "greedy bastard!" "i deserve X b/c i suppressed Y in me."
true responsibility is the acting out of love. it's the willingness to do something with acceptance or even joy despite hating and being hated. (vs pseudo-responsibility where the act is done but it builds resentment which eventually explodes)
this is far rarer than common infatuation which is a "if i make u feel good u make me feel good" or the incel's "if u make me feel good i'll make u feel good." infatuation is brittle because it can't survive hate.https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1360619313976147972 …
if you want to believe in love, you have to also believe in hate. you can't have one without the other.
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