when ppl are in pain and need to talk about it they have to reduce the fidelity of their specific anna karenina pain into the closest socially acceptable victim narrative. this reduction is subconscious. the social narrative BECOMES the actual reason to the thinking mind.
that is... the path to not being offended isn't to become someone who doesn't get offended but to become someone who doesn't see becoming offended as some sort of Grave Offense b/c of the recognition of shadow.
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it's spiky hoomans realizing that to Love is to hurt and be hurt by other spiky hoomans and to do their best to avoid hurting and being hurt but knowing that it's a fundamentally impossible task.
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you know the most heroic thing in movies is a Last Stand. where you do something even though you know it's futile? well... life is pretty futile b/c of death. that's an opportunity for life as this same heroic yet futile Act of Defiance which we call Love.
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