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e.g. take self-love/confidence/esteem. By definition this is something that only "You" can give "Yourself" thus it is an always already impossibility. Most efforts at "gaining" it involve insisting that you already HAVE it and then looking for validation/proof.

if "YOU must be the one to love yourself.", then the only way to make this possible is to schizophrenically create a separate self that gives to some other self. If the receiver is the True Self, then the gifter is fake. If the gifter is the True Self, the the receiver if fake.

There's no way for a "True Self" to gift to another "True Self" because of how singular the word "True" is! Either the gifter or receiver has to be a Fake Devil.

So what does it mean to want self-love/confidence/esteem? If I just already have it how come I don't FEEL that I have it? Do I just *pretend* that I have already it? No... that feels fake and needs constant re-validation by external sources...

The trick out of this paradox is the idea that "you don't know what you don't know." that is... the INTERNAL feeling of something that matches the EXTERNAL observation can be wildly different. "Evil" only exists when one views the OTHER.https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1327202137462358016?s=20 …

So lack of self-love is really about lack of living up to projected expectations either by self or accelerated through social media. It's constantly trying to take something that you've only seen externally and trying to recreate it internally even though it may not be possible.

That is to say... the feeling that "I am missing something" or "I could be more than I can be." is CORRECT. Pretending to "already have it" just gets you stuck without growth. yet we've already determined that what you want is what you can't "get" externally! wat??

here's the core resolution: to "HAVE" something means to put something in a box. The box container has to be relatively static compared to the external environment otherwise it's a worthless box. I can't sit in a demarcated volume of air!