Co-dependency on the other hand involves a sense of being needed and needing the other. The feeling is of being trapped and constantly having to spend massive amounts of energy making sacrifices to be a Good Person.
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this is where traditional values can get overly rigid because thick-skin/soft-skin is relative to the task. e.g. you can be thick-skin in one domain but soft-skin in another. it's not strictly necessary for one person to be thick-skin at EVERYTHING.
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Thick-skin demarcates the border and soft-skin makes the interior beautiful and worth living for. Thick-skin faces the burden of life, being worn down by wind and rain and having it be worth it b/c of a home to return to.
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A "Perfect Couple" is perfectly balanced yin/yang wise for every Life Task thrown at them. Every challenge can be risen to and overcome while having FUN. Without balance, over time the challenges fray at the bond and eventually the couple splits.
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Such couples often spend their whole time together trying to figure out ways to AVOID challenges and thus end up increasingly resenting each other. Since the whole point of life you could say is to face challenges and have fun doing it.
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Summary: be careful of Projecting Your Shadow which creates Monsters. ALSO be careful of Projecting Your Light which creates codependency. Accepting your inner darkness is only the first step. The second step is rising to your inner light. BE THE HOOMAN UR DOG WANTS U TO BE
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