The most traditional way to seek this feeling is through long meditations. Another common "modern" method is through accumulation of knowledge in the hopes of triggering a it some sort of super "insight" orgasm.https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1333339180601020416 …
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E.g. the united states is composed of 50 sovereign states, each with conflicting interests. China is composed of multiple provinces. As command flows away from central, the concept of single "identity" starts to fade.
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In order for a country to maintain a single identity, it has to perform acts AS a single identity. A country cannot buy a watermelon. A country starts or ends wards, exports or imports products, engages in humanitarian activities, etc...
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Thus a country that is doing things(e.g. war) together merely for the sake of forcing themselves to work together is in terrible pain. It's like a marriage that isn't working. It's the drug dealer who doesn't want to shoot but has to be loyal to the gang.
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Extrapolate this to "self" as country, relationship as country, family as country, etc... the behavior should not be *necessary* to the group! if the bridge NEEDS the scaffolding to be there, you've built the damn bridge incorrectly!
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End of conversation
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