Destroying the faerie of "I" is a tantalizing goal to chase after. It offers endless amusement the same way a dog chases its tail. But sth. more practical is destroying the thought pattern "My Life Up Until Now"(MLUUN).
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A common trap is spending a lifetime chasing the faerie the same way one chases their shadow. It's a high that's never achieved. It is done out of an extreme desire to eliminate MLUUN and MLUUN-like patterns once and for all.
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It's kinda like trying to learn the most complex thing in a field at the fastest rate by skipping understanding of the fundamentals. It's very easy to fall into a high anxiety lifestyle of constantly faking everything.
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Even if there is *some* success it can do more harm than good. E.g. running incorrectly or doing deadlifts with bad form causing long term damage to the body.
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There's no actual issue with trimming back MLUUN even when you know it will grow back. You have to eat everyday and that's not a bad thing. You don't go "I must solve the problem of eating once and for all!"https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1325984301947576322?s=20 …
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The reason MLUUN is so draining is b/c the Author desires to exert Control and so sets up MLUUN in preparation to continue the narrative. It's constantly judging events to find the *right* stuff that will continue the story.
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Not only is this constant judgement, criticism, and wishing a drag but deep down the Author also *DOESN'T* want to finish the story. (since it ends in death) MLUUN is the original Necronomicon. It is the book of the dead, the book of the past.
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It is *very* powerful. It allows you to stand on the shoulders of skeletal ghost giants. It is embodied knowledge. A pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
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It is however quite useless in helping you maintain presence. It's quite a hefty tome. E.g. having it open while doing sth. that requires presence (dancing, sex) doesn't really help.https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1335696138960216064?s=20 …
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Being able to set down MLUUN requires seeing just how much of "you" is embodied within it. How much of your soul did you put into the horcrux? It contains *everything*. Your knowledge, your principles, your philosophy, your spirituality, your relationships, etc...
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It's very difficult nowadays to set down your phone for an extended period of time, let alone a far more powerful horcrux like MLUUN.
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Lucky are the pure souls who have never encountered the severing traumas that create MLUUNs. They don't have to cast magic. They *are* magic.
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(Traditionally, this role of *being* magic is reserved for the feminine, hence the 'protecting of the sacred'. However, being magic means that "you" can't control and direct it. The act of being is intrinsically chaotic and undirected vs the act of 'pointing' with an erect wand)
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I believe I have lost the plot. fin. TPR: it's pretty stupid to try and use your Necronomicon to destroy your Necronomicon. you end up projecting Necronomicon's into the world and destroying *other* people's stuff.
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End of conversation
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