For something difficult like an advanced math concept often times the vacuum loses suction and equilibrium is achieved far earlier than expected. "Ok, I realize now that I'm not *that* curious about XYZ"
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Curiosity, courage, and manifestation seem to be the same thing. Take curiosity. It's a knowledge "vacuum" that sucks in knowledge due to nature abhorring a vacuum. As long the vacuum can be maintained, it fills.
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Similarly this is what is meant by "Knowing what you want." If you maintain a vacuum in your "beingness" the same way a vacuum is maintained in your knowledge graph then that empty hole is eventually filled.
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A vacuum however is different than a hole. A hole still has *something*(air) and is not a true vacuum. It doesn't produce a force. Wallowing in a sadness puddle doesn't manifest happiness because the hole you want filled is flooded with sadness.
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Courage is the force that allows a vacuum to be maintained at stronger and stronger forces. For knowledge concepts, there's a very tangible mental barrier when encountering a subject that makes you feel dumb. (Math again is a good example here.)
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Being curious about something requires courage because curiosity KILLS. (I only have 6 lives left) All curiosity is curiosity about the Unknown Other and all Unknown Other's are bits and pieces of the Great Unknown Other of Death.
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To be extremely curious is to seek death, to find the piece of information that shatters your world view and forms you anew.https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1326993364827324416 …
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This isn't always pleasant. e.g. "Wait, am *I* the asshole??" "Am *I* the one that's insane?"
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Freedom is a *very* interesting thing to be curious about. Searching for it is akin to contorting your beingness into various shapes and forms trying to attract it into your life.https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1331215166961188864?s=20 …
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In many spiritual contexts, freedom is associated with lack of an "I". The previous painful examples of asshole/insanity realization don't "hurt" as much when there is no "I" that is linguistically stressed.
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Because "Maybe I'm the asshole" feelings are manifested more easily, this leads to increased freedom. E.g. if I want to become a good pianist, first I must go through the phase of being a bad pianist and to get to that I must first manifest the "absolute idiot at piano" state.
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Dropping the "I" feeling is like a cheat code. It's like having infinite courage because the self can be broken and reformed without having to hold onto itself.
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E.g. if I imagine the concept of self as Batman, then I can send Batman into various dangerous situations. Like public speaking. If *I* am speaking in public then *I* can be embarrassed and ashamed. If it's just this "character" though, then that fear has no effect.
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The use of rationality can be a useful tool to differentiate between "actual" danger that affects reality and "egoic" danger that only affects perceived self identity.
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In practice however, infinite courage is akin to the speed of light. It's not achievable because constant flux of self is insanity. the body & mental habits also adds resistance that prevents the ability to truly become a superconductor for the universe.
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TPR: be a hole to be whole lolhttps://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1334050759428558848 …
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addendum thought: a "narcissistic wound" is a permanent vacuum. It's like a vampire bite. IA source of infinite energy at the price of infinite hunger. It's creates immortality but self-destructs in the light unless it can forcibly hibernate.
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End of conversation
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