The reason why 'wanting' and 'seeing' feel disconnected is because most wanting and seeing is corrupted or false. What is 'seen' is an overly warped vision and what is 'wanted' isn't really what is wanted. Wanting energy feels entitled and greedy while Seeing energy feels cynical
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Note that this rejection isn't necessarily bad. Many people have rejected the responsibility of being able to live as hunter/gatherers or farmers for example. Rejection of responsibility => specialization as part of society. Yay. togetherness.
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Most magic (application of will unto reality) should be like gardening. You're working with primal forces with highly compressed complex systems that operate on a completely different timescale than yours. It's a servant role, not a master role.
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Trying to create a high manifestation differential does increase the speed of movement towards the desired state, but it often doesn't get there. It's like sprinting the first half a marathon. You don't finish but it looked cool (number 1!) for some time.
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Pulling on grass doesn't make it grow faster. The act of trying to do so indicates lack of foundational knowledge.
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So... is it possible to both "apply Will unto reality" and "let things happen" They seem to be opposites. The answer is: Acceptance...subjugating will to reality. To live humbly as a 'servant' unto 'reality'.
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Acceptance is paradoxically both a high energy act (since you need to 'parse' the firehose of reality ) and a low energy act (you don't have to consciously control anything). You just have to stop hijacking the energy for other stuff like constant re-manifesting "self".
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acceptance/non-acceptance doesn't change reality, it ratchets forward deterministically. You can suffer in acceptance as well as non-acceptance. But in the accepted state you'll know more of WHY you're sad.
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You could say that you've been playing a mobile game all this time while begrudgingly playing monopoly in real life b/c it's boring and you obviously can't win. Except you don't realize that a few years ago the game changed into something else.
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Acceptance/manifestation means to water the seeds. It's about learning about the universe, the elements, earth, air, water, fire...
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It is not about working with primal forces in order to eventually control them and measure their productive output. It's about working with them with awareness that awareness IS a primal force.
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TPR: Manifestation vacuums/gradients. Awareness as a primal force. Humility before the awe of reality.
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End of conversation
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