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@a_yawning_cat

stray thoughts, loosely held. rat jaeger.

California, USA
aycat.substack.com
Joined December 2018

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    1.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

      With body dissociation the anchor mindstate is some kind of identity. These are always variations on heroic archetypes b/c what else would you as a main character be.

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    2.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

      Both this body and hero-self create something to anchor to. This sense of "home" is a kind of tether to mindspace exploration. As long as you can feel the tug from home, you have the courage to continue to explore.

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    3.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

      Important to note that the "hero-self" usually only exists as an ideal for the majority of people. Internally we know ALL our ugly imperfections, so can't actually take hero-self seriously. Self then exists in a "I want to aspire to be my hero-self" self.

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    4.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

      This is a very self-righteous self(duh) that speaks from the pompous mountain of heroic morality but allows itself the excuse of victimhood-when-its-convenient. We'll call this 'ego'. The 'I'll become a hero once I achieve the heroic mindset' thought.

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    5.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

      It's a self-flagellating existence as it looks to others to give it what it can only give itself. It has to actively make the choice to constantly carry the heroic mindset. (which is just the refusal to take up the victim or villain mindset)

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    6.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

      Most morality is "I didn't take the villain mindset so I must be the hero." This allows victims to masquerade as heroes. I think it was Nietzsche who said sth about passing cowardice off as courage and claiming it a virtue.

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    7.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

      Back to main thread: So 'body' and 'ego' are both different types of anchors that let us feel 'safe' being the center of an infinite universe expanding into other infinite universes.

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    8.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

      With the body, the main universe where you move around, doesn't feel infinite because you can cut down and limit the universe to walkable distance. The resolution of the universe is reduced to a manageable size using labels like Bird that collapse ∞ fractal reality into 1 byte

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    9.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

      With the ego, the universe is cut down to the bare minimum necessary to continue the hero story. As long as there is a villain and there is hope everything is great. Remove either villain or hope and ego goes nuts. It'll exaggerate the smallest difference into a Unforgiveable Sin

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    10.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

      When "we" move around in the world it is the contents of our awareness shifting around. Even if the contents are feelings of body movement, visual change, passage of time sense (boredom), feelings etc... the fundamental unit of movement is always a movement within awareness.

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       🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

      The exploring mindstates example above isn't a metaphor but what reality *actually* is. Using physical reality like where our bodies are doesn't capture the vast distances we can be crossing in our minds.

      2:08 AM - 17 Nov 2020
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        2.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          The body and ego anchors are like mantras. It's like repeatedly saying "I am <name>" to yourself b/c you're afraid you'll forget your name. Except it's affirming your physical form and chosen heroic story. (ur 'name' is complex)

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        3.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          Because these mantras are in every mindstate they create a sense of familiarity. E.g. every moment of awareness is framed in a gold "I'm a very smart person b/c I went to an Ivy League school." frame.

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        4.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          That frame actually takes up SPACE in awareness. It limits the amount of energy can be used to BE in the current mindspace. It's rationalized b/c a targeting reticle is useful when u don't have the Force.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuKqcfO31is …

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        5.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          When you are close to "home" the targeting reticle is more useful. A better analogy is that you have more 'power' bc you have more familiarity. You know the neighbors, the friends, the favors you can call on, the connections, etc...

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        6.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          While you can feel powerful and important in a 'home', by definition it limits the amount of newness that can come. It overlays a protective field across reality as an aid for those who cannot use the Force.

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        7.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          Aside: male/female relationship to home: Men feel at home when at the 'head' of the household. They need their little (benign) dictatorships to truly feel at home. It's optional for women (and for many, an unwanted burden to be so necessarily tyrannical)

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        8.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          Back to main thread: The body/ego anchors create a giant Island of Meness that serves as a giant floating anchor. It can travel into any mindspace as long as all of it can it. Every new experience is capture by the island's gatekeepers and converted into something safe.

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        9.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          It's like a spaceship converting hydrogen into oxygen. Or like telling the story of World War II but with muppets. The island protects. The ego protects. It chews your food for you, presenting a far more easily digested reality.

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        10.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          When the safety mechanism is made too opaque, there is an inability to move into expanded states of consciousness. If I want to learn more about where my meat comes I first learn about fish heads and chicken feet. Then I visit the farm.

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        11.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          If these intermediate states aren't presented in a workable gradient we are shocked away from these mindstates, labelling it "here be living dragons" and then weld them away behind steel doors hoping they'll starve to death and the problem will go away

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        12.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          If taking apart my computer reveals 100 lifetimes of learning then wtf lifetime am I supposed to choose if I can choose only one. It's better to just stay Home.

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        13.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          The massive revealed volume of possible mindstates makes us feel lost and afraid because we have no way of seeing how to build the bridge to any of them. We also lose touch w/ our hearts b/c of all the outside mindstates invasively competing for our attention.

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        14.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          There's a drive to retreat to a macro perspective. To find the One True Knowledge that will help us not feel lost in the world (and so feel at home). spiritual paths for e.g. are about finding this one true knowledge so that the constant anxiety keeping up can stop

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        15.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          Going into VC or climbing the ranks are also similar, by heading towards the top you can see farther at the cost of lower resolution. Why is everyone climbing these fucking mountains. The valley is the only thing that supports life.

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        16.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          There's a kind of pompousness that can shine through b/c of the message "Ah I've reached the top, I guess the only thing left for me to do is to Ascend into Fucking Heaven." The spiritual desire is driven by the same energy that desired to look down upon the world.

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        17.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          Yet ironically the lessons learned on this spiritual path are about not associating with the body/ego anchors. They reveal the Infinite to those who spent their whole lives trying to contain, manage, and utilize the Infinite.

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        18.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          What can often happen is a desperate Final Ultimate Labelling. The label experts, in one final desperate move, call this infinity God and so believe they have swallowed the ocean while floating within it.

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        19.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          Expert climbers have wonderful map making skills and techniques. The maps are also always somewhat useful. Look at someone's map, how big is the black spot that says "Here be dragons". How big is yours?

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        20.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          What is the degree to which fear rules your life. What is the degree to which you have to tiptoe around people and subjects and what is the degree you force others to do so around you?

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        21.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          Why. are. there. words. here. I thought I ended this thread.

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        22.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          At every moment you are capable of seeing the infinite. If you don't see the stars, the galaxies, and the universes surrounding you you should check behind the black dark curtain labeled "Fear" that is contracting your awareness.

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        23.  🐈‏ @a_yawning_cat 17 Nov 2020

          It should feel like jumping into a cold pool. Pretend you're not a cat and just jump in.

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        24. End of conversation

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