🐈

Watched a friend's daughter run around w/ glee yesterday at the park and then crying inconsolably when it was time to leave (parking was running out). She then reverted to the blank non-reactive expression she had earlier on for the most of the day.

When people cry, whether it's as a toddler or an adult, the body is at "max sadness". Yet a crying child has almost no overriding capacity despite its self-perceived urgency.

That other people were around increases the social pressure to do things in lockstep which adds to the pressure of getting the child to snap out of their individual happiness bubble and get in sync with the crowd.

"Seriousness" is something that always has an element of "other". Without someone else "watching" there is no seriousness. Creating a personal watcher judging and criticizing yourself all the time and calling it "I" is a great way to have seriousness-on-demand-as-as-service.

Which would imply that happiness is something individual. Group happiness melds individuals together into one super individual.

Would be interesting to think about times when the message "Your happiness is more important than this other important thing." It's probably one of those invisible traumas that are traumatic b/c it didn't happen.

Aside: survival mode makes happiness easy b/c when survival is the most important thing then just existing is a way of affirming importance. E.g. the happy-gratefulness after a near-death experience.

Aside on the aside: the happiness-gratefulness emotion seems like 'true happiness'. Without gratefulness, it's like food w/o salt, the calories are technically there but the happiness is bland.