Depression is like being the main character in the movie "My Life As a Depressed Actor"
"Oh, miserable me, why do I act so poorly! Alas, tis my fate as the Main Character of this Great Show"
"Oh wow, amazing acting
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It's hard to fix depression when the depression is the desired state.https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1322371322043797505 …
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Ideations of suicide are basically attempts to kill the main character so that the show can end. Love often is the target of the most violent thoughts.https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1304704096813723654 …
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It's correlated with loneliness as well b/c "I am such a bad cliché actor, no one will EVER want to watch this movie. Alas, tis my fate as the Main Character of this Great Show."https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1321580773720223745 …
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Interesting enough, an egoic suicide is the perfect ending to a tragic show. "Ah, I shall never be who I want to be, I give up my dreams and take my own life." END. The happy ending to the tragedy IS the sad ending.https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1285850402362015744 …
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This "I'm sad plz help me but I still want to be main character of my show about sadness" can make even the most helpful bystanders want to slap the person. Doesn't work since the depressed person is often slapping themselves as well.
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"*slap* you're an actor, stop acting!" "*slaps self* yes I know! the most terrible actor! tis my fate as the Main Cha.." "*slap* you're an actor!!!"
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It's a kind of trap that happens when you overextend beyond your expertise. A movie about a bad actor requires a really good actor to play. If you try to play it w/o being a good actor the drama draws you in and makes up the skill deficit by leeching off your soul.
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Playing with "bad" without first getting the fundamental of "good" right creates a gordian knot situations.https://twitter.com/a_yawning_cat/status/1296746215053225984 …
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Now the only way forward is to cut the knot. Something that requires great courage. You know.. like the kind required if you were acting in a Great Show as the Main Character.
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End of conversation
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