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This is different than the subtle knife of analysis which slices the world into ideas and categories. No, this is more fundamental. This is THE line in the sand that separates the universe into 2, "self" and "other", "me" and "you".

Once a "home of self" is created the timer starts ticking. The shadow of other starts encroaching from all sides. Ownership can only be kept forever by immortal gods.

Another way to say is that if an ego doesn't have a problem it'll go out of it's way to create one so it can solve it and then be allowed die in peace.

This is like a traditional marriage vow. "I bring you into my home, as a source of endless problems to solve that bring my life joy, and hope to die together."

Which sounds rather sacred and virtuous compared to its sarcastically simplified form: "man wants to own woman". (It's usually the yang aspect that plucks the beautiful yin aspect from the field of flowers and promises to take care of and it.)

The plucking of the flower takes in an aspect of shadowy reality into the light of home and starts the death timer. Just like a fish out of water slowly dies, the former aspect of nature suddenly becomes claustrophobic and constrained as a flower in a vase.

Death is invited into the home through the act of plucking. It comes not from outside the home and beyond the fence but from the vase itself.

To choose to love is to choose to watch something fade into ugliness and death. Anyone less is NOT love but a crush, a temporary infatuation that feels unrealistically shiny. A cubic zirconia.

This is one reason why not knowing how to love hurts the one you're trying to love. A crush is considered love when they're two entirely different things the same way mcdonalds and a high end restaurant are different.

Yes they're both technically food but tell someone they're special and that they light up your life and take them to a first date eating chicken nuggets? Feels pretty different now.

Crushes are narcissistic because they shine in an "aha" moment that is only possible the same way finding the last piece to a puzzle creates a specifically define problem and solution.

Love is like kintsugi. It involves the process and breaking and repair and the ingredient of time. A crush is like finding the perfect couch for your perfect living room in your perfect house. You just HAVE to have it at any price. It "completes" the puzzle.

Without seeing a healthy relationship between mother & father, children cannot build up their own healthy relationships. They'll jump from relationship to relationship b/c they don't know wtf to do when they reach old age. All they have is one wrong answer of their parents.

People who are driven by wanting to "fix" their parent's relationships by creating a perfect one themselves often can be self-delusional. This is because they know the answer isn't X and feel overconfident in choosing the correct answer from A, B, C, D, E.....

They can latch onto one answer B and live a life of "B, B is ALWAYS the answer." "How do you know?" "Because X ISN'T the answer!!!" (They can also be easily manipulated by connecting what you want them to see as the enemy to X)

Latching on has nothing to do with persistence in time. It's the tightness of the grasping. It's possible to latch onto multiple things quickly in a small period of time, leaving claw marks on each of them. The sharpness of grasping often being the very reason one is flung off.

The result is that "homes" (and offices) start to feel sterile. Full of glass and neat legible work environments for all the collaborative work that will pretend to be happening. Plants only exist as long as they are evergreen and easy to care for. Being rootbound is a feature.

Such a place simply put... doesn't know how to deal with life because it doesn't know how to deal with death. Games exacerbate this problem because the solution is "just try again" which doesn't work in real life.

This also explains why "hacking" has a negative feel to it. It's a form of accelerated learning by creating a gamified environment where you just brute force with infinite lives to attain knowledge at great pace. You destroy your ego 'clones' and absorb their energy.

When Yang cuts the flower and brings it into the vase, the children do not know which perfect vase to buy or create to create an Eternal Source of Light.

When Yang instead builds the home in the field and around the flower, being careful not to sever the connection, the flower blooms happily and dies nobly. It exists and disappears all part of a greater cycle.

The flower doesn't die into rotting biomass in a pot and them hamfistedly returned to the cycle in a coffin buried in the ground. No matter how pretty and elaborate and expensive the funeral is.

To venture into the fields and build your house in the middle of chaos requires courage and skill. To pluck pieces from the field into your workplace of light and control kills the very thing you wanted to See.

Maybe this explains why the self-development ("I" as the greatest project) crowd stereotypically has a problem with long term relationships. No amount of skill equates to greater courage. Greater mastery increase the height you jump into the pool of chaos.

It's like going up to someone and saying "Follow me and you'll never experience any suffering in your life every again. I will attend to your every need." Which is so stupid.

Sitting with yourself for a few brief moments and sense all the feelings. So many of them unsatisfactory. So many of them are uncontradictory in nature. You can't deal with chaos and not be dealing with chaos. It's not even linguistically possible!

Shadow once dragged into the light dies just like a magic trick or a joke loses its magic when explained.

Monks deal with this in an interesting way... They go full hobo and destroy their concept of home. Their first step is to reduce desire and pride to the extent that they can live anywhere based only on donations.

Once this is done then the whole universe becomes home. There are dangers, but they are similar to falling down your stairs, raising your children wrong, divorce, etc...