Depression then can be defined as a closed system that has no source of external newness. That is, it’s a disconnected system. It’s deeper than loneliness because the last lifeline has been cut.
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Problem solvers find rawness and never serve raw chicken but problem avoiders realize that “I *am* the problem.”
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Novelty is sought because the Observer is always in a state of suffering and seeks to do anything EXCEPT repeat itself. “I don’t want u to be lonely b/c I know what it feels like” is driven by the same self-annihilative energy as thrill seekers.
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Seeking out those who seem to be suffering similarly to you has a violent core. “I want to DESTROY this image of you suffering. Completely obliviate it from reality.(aka MY reality)”
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Trying to help too much is like being a bad listener who just gives advice w/o listening. You get the sense that they want something to just go away.
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It’s a violent mental model because it deigns a piece of reality a landfill. Reality is like the ocean. It’s so big that that stuff I don’t want should go just into it and sink somewhere I never will go.
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It’s the right model in a way. Everything will be recycled when the sun explodes...
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Anyway... just got back from a 2 day trip, saw a sad anteater at a zoo earlier today, was worried about my cat, felt like jotting down some thoughts.
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End of conversation
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