When I accidentally locked my cat in the bathroom overnight and handed her to a pet washer, both times she was elated to see me again. She didn’t seem to understand cause and effect. Things just happened.
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The warning pain of loneliness shuts off as this last line is severed and numbness sets in.
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Enlightenment models offers resistance because if there is only one system then by definition there is no such thing as something external. There is no newness when everything is connected.
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This implies that system size also offers resistance against depression since it allows for novelty to exist outside the limits of what can be consciously grasped.
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Why these models don’t offer infinite joy and immunity against depression is similar to why endless video games and youtube videos don’t offer endless distraction.
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The ability to abstract compresses the world so that true novelty is increasingly difficult to come by. You can’t step in the same river twice but the brain doesn’t give a fuck. It’s purely dedicated to surviving despite god, not trying to merge with god. (death)
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It also seems to take 99 units of Void to create 1 unit of Seeing. The Observer is always lonely because it cannot see the raw material used to create itself. Its reason for being is sacrificed in the creation process.
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An existential problem is a problem that cannot be solved because the solution IS the now consumed raw material that created the problem. (Normal problems present the raw material and the solution is the refined output.)
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At most, existential problems can find resonance via an echo. It can sense a similar problem being created in the present.
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Problem solvers find rawness and never serve raw chicken but problem avoiders realize that “I *am* the problem.”
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Novelty is sought because the Observer is always in a state of suffering and seeks to do anything EXCEPT repeat itself. “I don’t want u to be lonely b/c I know what it feels like” is driven by the same self-annihilative energy as thrill seekers.
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Seeking out those who seem to be suffering similarly to you has a violent core. “I want to DESTROY this image of you suffering. Completely obliviate it from reality.(aka MY reality)”
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Trying to help too much is like being a bad listener who just gives advice w/o listening. You get the sense that they want something to just go away.
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It’s a violent mental model because it deigns a piece of reality a landfill. Reality is like the ocean. It’s so big that that stuff I don’t want should go just into it and sink somewhere I never will go.
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It’s the right model in a way. Everything will be recycled when the sun explodes...
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Anyway... just got back from a 2 day trip, saw a sad anteater at a zoo earlier today, was worried about my cat, felt like jotting down some thoughts.
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End of conversation
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