i have this weird neurosis about working for a big tech co i need to figure that shit out quick hm
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Sometimes I feel like Im not cut out for it in the slightest. Like I wouldnt last 5 minutes. I think I worry it will be dreadful and boring. like school all over again and forever. Probably fear that I'm not good enough too. not skilled/competent enough .
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I also think about what if I'm just really good at it. I think I could be. I could work forever nonstop if it was really addicting. And I think a fast paced work environment could be exactly that. Then I imagine myself at 50 wondering how I'd spent my youngest youth.
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