"your partner cannot succeed in making you feel good in a lasting way. For example, if you have had a hard life filled with rejection and loneliness, his love can only temporarily lift the cloud of worthlessness and self-loathing that will return whenever he is away"
Because they get so little from you, they will be obsessed with finding someone they imagine can rescue them and, out of their desperation, will blind you to that person’s faults.
-
-
Your partner will appreciate this arrangement because she won’t feel the weight of your emotional dependence or the sting of your rage when she is unintentionally neglectful
Show this thread -
by acting as though you care less than your partner, you can constantly stir her anxiety and keep her in line. The downside to this strategy is that you wind up numb, cut off from your heart and from your partner’s love, so you’re constantly dissatisfied
Show this thread -
Either way, life is predictable, and no one gets close enough to hurt them. The boredom and loneliness of either kind of controlled life seem like a small price to pay to minimize the threat of re-injury.
Show this thread -
It seems that the key to helping a couple lies less in reducing the number or even intensity of their fights and more in improving the repair process after a fight.
Show this thread -
since they both had been so vulnerable, their protectors were likely to return with a vengeance whenever the other made the slightest false move
Show this thread -
Most people dance the same dances, even with different partners, because they never bother to look inside. They spend their lives striving for redemption they don’t need and being disappointed in each chosen redeemer whom they try to change to fit the bill
Show this thread
End of conversation
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.