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If the way we loved is by expressing "This is how I was not loved." then love is not an objective action but a subjective communication. The feeling of being loved is a specific kind of being understood.

The reason opposites attract is because two people can take turns throwing the ball and catching it. This basic give-and-take behavior being the foundation for friendship.

Increased intimacy is just throwing the ball at closer distances giving each other less time to react. Intimacy should only proceed if two people are familiar enough w/ each other that they aren't smashing each others face in. If they are, they should take a few steps back.

It also means that lack of love actually increases your love vocabulary. The more damaged you are the more complex you communicate "This is how I was not loved." This would help explain the "problem of evil" within the context of a all powerful benevolent god.

(Not that I personally think 'god' should be anthropomorphized except in poetic contexts)

It would also imply that being fully loved makes you incapable of expressing love and being loved in the way most people love and are loved.

Reminds how one of the criticisms of Krishnamurti by those close to him was that he felt disconnected. Like talking to a spirit rather than human.

Those who live in abundance don't feel how hated they are by those living in scarcity. They can be interpreted as showing off, privileged, etc...