If the way we loved is by expressing "This is how I was not loved." then love is not an objective action but a subjective communication. The feeling of being loved is a specific kind of being understood.
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I suspect this is because in most societies, an environment that is capable of generating 'perfect love' is highly correlated with high social and economic status. E.g. it takes a lot of money and energy to create a 'village' without bandits, thieves, drunkards, homeless, etc..
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Things like hippy communes were attempts to disconnect this possibility of Abundant Life from having to be able to play the Money or Power game well. Though they often just became cults.
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Side thought on family. Starting a family or even being in a relationship disconnects you from the world. But this 'disconnection' is relative to what the world is doing. If the majority of people have families, you're 'entering' the majority world.
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If most people are single or childless, creating your own portable Meaning Reactor can be seen as a form of betrayal. Would also be why contractors are viewed as untrustworthy by full time employees.
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