The act of applying a solution to a problem can be so addicting that the problem is kept alive to continue the act of applying the solution.
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Since problems can be solved by applying a sufficient amount of consciousness the existence of problems and the solving of them is one of the primal methods of pain relief.
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Problems are like sacred pills. You want them ready at hand to pop a few as necessary, but they should be treated with respect like stronger drugs such as psychedelics.
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When applying the solution no longer works it's time to move on or break the addiction. If "Be Aggressive" gets you some early wins but you start encountering a ceiling the solution isn't to "Be Super Aggressive."
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Breaking a plateau often means finding a new addiction. E.g. for improving piano for me it's finding a combination of movement and melody that is fun to play but is also more difficult than what I currently can do.
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I can't jump into a piece I really want to play because I can't get addicted to it yet. It's too difficult. I need a path of addictions to ratchet myself upwards.
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Appreciating something like fine wine or coffee is a similar process. If you jump into deep complexity without learning the basics you're forced to just wander around like an idiot pretending to be good at something.
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E.g. if you know that 'dirt of Italy' is correlated with expensive wines so you learn to recognize it. With a big enough bag of these "hacks" you can be considered an 'expert' even when you're really a 'fake'.
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What fear and anxiety do is they cause you to amass a surplus of these pills. You're so afraid of pain that you buy a huge barrel of them from Costco. When it's time to move on you're still stuck with ineffective pills that you have to "finish".
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What was previously a source of soothing is now a pile of anxiety and obligation. Most relationships end up in this state.
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The thing that maximizes the chance of 2 people being on the same journey for the most amount of time is if they're popping the same pills. That is, their addiction path direction and acceleration has to be roughly similar.
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This type of resonance can be forced to some extent. E.g. if 2 people derive their life meaning from their children then they're synced up to some extend. (Depends on the sacred position of children in their respective worldviews)
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End of conversation
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