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"Ignoring things is problematic because your brain doesn't want things ignored. It wants them acknowledged. YOUR BRAIN WANTS THINGS ACKNOWLEDGED. This is the most important thing to remember."
"What do you need as a child? You need somebody who is completely aware of you and takes you seriously. If you don't get it, you're going to spend your whole life looking for it, but (spoiler) you won't succeed as long as you are unable to mourn what happened to you in the past."
"Unconditional love is possible only in childhood. Nobody else, ever, will love you unconditionally. This is what you have to mourn, so that you can move forward."
"Learning to give things up was pretty painful. I used to want to do __everything__ that seemed like a good idea and was doable.** I didn't know what I cared about, and so I was looking for lots and lots and lots of easy wins."
"Turns out that if something serves many purposes, it inevitably becomes a place full of anxiety"
"ADHD-y guilt comes with an escape hatch: "if you succeed, you were a good person all along". "I thought that if I returned with the finished task, all would be forgiven."
"Yes, I am selfish. Yes, I __do__ want to burn the world down just so that I can live forever. I will feel very bad doing it, and I will not do it, but I want to. (This is also called: eating the shadow.)"
"Yes, it does mean that you don't always get a fair chance to defend yourself. The image of you that I have created in some people's minds, might be disliked, unfairly, wrongly, and you can't do anything to change that. I will try to avoid this to some extent."
"Each thought-bucket I create serves as an attractor. By creating different buckets, I can control the direction in which I think."
"When I was in actual therapy, I used the same approach. I was proud of knowing what I felt, and wanted to impress therapists with not being like “those other clueless patients”.
"A different failure mode of public self-therapy is — when you stop caring about therapy after a while. When you turn your therapy account into a purely conversational account. When you try to show off how good you are at therapy. When you try to get more followers."
"Turning into a “wise” advice-account is not useful. But sometimes saying things you already know __is__ useful — because saying them solidifies them in your head."
"Well, fuck tomorrow’s me in advance. I don’t like him and whatever he will say. This is explicitly to him: Fuck you. Whatever you come up with, you will be wrong and dishonest and your motivation will be corrupt."
"If you always have to look like you know what you're talking about, you can't change your mind easily." "You start thinking about how you should only say things that you can justify, and boom, you can no longer __figure__ anything out"
"Utilitarianism pushes you to care about as few diverse things as possible, because then decision-making becomes easier" "So utilitarianism pushes you towards treating more and more things as interchangeable and fewer and fewer things as sacred"
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