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One of the reasons families and children may disrupt the conflict snowball is because children allow you the "More of me" victory without having to deal with the "Less of you" violence. (overall population growth also increases the attention pie)

Violence is 'bad' when it's only purpose is "less of you" without a corresponding "more of me" drive that makes the violence more 'honorable'. It becomes purely destructive and seems to actually have internally accepted that "more of me" isn't good or possible.

We create our own demons by deeming humans hopeless and cutting them off from the light.

Though attention of individual humans is finite, actual attention isn't. E.g. companies fight over the attention of "John" with credit card number 123 and 50K to spend. But actual "John" is a Ship of Theseus.

What companies fight over is the "identity" that controls a pool of money. What individuals fight over is the identity that controls pools of friendship/status/power/etc..

But because that identity is technically every-changing in a "you can't step in the same river twice" way, a certain type of attention is infinite, even at the micro level. It's similar to how young children see everything in the world as interesting. Boredom isn't possible.

The more tethered the identity, the more constrained life feels and the more conflict is inevitable. "I" as a concept grows in necessary solidity and responsibility the more I have to manage bank accounts, investments, children, friendships, twitter, etc.....

A sense of solidity brings increased capacity for boredom which is only cancelled out by the increased meaning of being more solid. A Story like Harry Potter is more meaningful than a jumble of thoughts about wizards and magic.