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"It refers to the drive to need no one, or more specifically, the fear of being dependent. Counter-dependent people go to great lengths to avoid asking for help, to not appear, or feel, needy.They will make every effort not to rely on another person."

"So she did not learn to do these things for herself. Instead, her harsh internal parent took the simple approach, and taught her that she’d better do everything exactly right, or suffer the consequences. As a result, she became paralyzed by disappointment and anger at herself."

"Generally, Laura described feeling emotionally numb. This was because she had successfully managed to cut off her feelings so that they wouldn’t bother her. But each time she had strong feelings of any kind, for any reason, she felt weak and ashamed."

"The Fatal Flaw is not a real flaw. But it is a real feeling. It is the emotionally neglected adult’s deep-seated, buried belief about herself." "If people get to know me, they won’t like me."

"Emotions that are not acknowledged or expressed tend to jumble together and emerge as anger"

"She felt completely isolated from the rest of humankind. Other people seemed happy and complete. They seemed to know each other, to care for each other, and to be free. Other people didn’t seem to hide parts of themselves or to have this struggle. "

"The only way she could soothe herself was to imagine being dead. Being dead would be such a relief. She did not have any intention to kill herself, but she reserved the possibility as a safety net."

"She tried to make the numbness and emptiness go away by watching an old show. It didn’t work, so she lay down on her sofa and started to imagine being dead, since that usually helped. This time, it didn’t seem to work, and instead the emptiness and pain just got more intense".