🐈

This has to be experienced. You have to see shadow become light and see that vanquishing shadow was the wrong goal. Otherwise it's like learning piano w/o having seen or heard a piano before.

You have to get your shadow to forgive you by realizing that it was you who first ignored it. You were the ghoster, not the ghosted. You apologize and forgive yourself for pretending that you didn't exist. For not being yourself.

Being ashamed of someone's existence is the greatest insult we can have towards someone. Imagine telling this feeling to a friend. It'd end the friendship. Being ashamed of yourself is precisely why you're angry at yourself.

Your imaginary friend is actually your 'higher self'. That bully who tells you you're too fat and dumb is actually right. Except instead of being a great life coach, this life coach uses vitriol and punishment to 'encourage' you.

Everything this life coach tells you will be true in some way. (You can and should always be growing, always be living) Yet depending on how the message is delivered it can have hugely different effects.

You need to have the ability to befriend a bully. Most of us have never had this experience. We strive to be 'stronger' instead and bully the bully from a position of strength. Mentally we imagine the bully as a loser. Someone we could never befriend.

Our original bullies are often our father or mother figure scolding us, making us fear for our existences. If you don't have a bully figure in your life, perhaps the people you have to make amends with are your parents or caretakers.

We have to be able to be friends with our parents. But this is *hard*. Society tells us we can't be friends with super evil people like racist people and our parents are like super racist. "Stay away from black people"