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Do you believe in newness or do you not? The cynical nihilist who says "What does it matter, we're all gonna die." does not.

Even if you intellectually understand the infinity of consciousness you may still feel trapped because you may believe that those higher states of consciousness require more skills than you have.

You theoretically know that every scribble you draw on a piece of paper is unique new information but it just doesn't FEEL like invigorating newness. Your scribble is undisciplined and untrained and unskilled.

By not allowing new feelings to come into existence, you deny yourself the ability to change. Often this is due to a desire to repeat consistent performance due to trying to perfect something like grades.

You can't get "I'm good at drawing" feelings when they're locked behind first having to feel "I'm bad at drawings". If you're afraid of feeling bad or stupid, you never get good.

The depressed person fundamentally believes in god but doesn't fundamentally believe in him or herself to be worthy of god. For some reason, out of guilt or fear, they deny themselves new experiences. They afraid to feel pain, afraid to feel pleasure.

god is such a difficult topic because we all have so many different ways of dealing with our pain and making our way into our future.

Losing faith is the dead end of suicide. So if you're alive, it means you still have faith. Don't lose that last shard of it. Follow it. Even if it leads to you emotions you don't want to feel.