Sentimentality works well within “families”, that is, emotional communication within a monoculture. The stronger the emotion the stronger the effect
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In domains where emotional strength doesn’t translate into quality it can be the wrong mental model to use. E.g. math, engineering, forces of nature, financcial systems, etc... don’t care about your feelings.
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In multi-cultural communication the emotion also often doesn’t translate well. Both the valence and the intensity are lost in translation.
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Protocols solve the problems of sentimentality. Likewise sentimentality solves the problem of protocols.
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Most families however aren’t actual “perfect families”. They’re each damaged in unique ways.
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An authoritarian father is someone who recognizes that strict protocol is necessary to suppress intergenerational conflict but forgets the sentimentality necessary to resolve it at the root.
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On the other hand, the absence of this suppressing force leads emotions to run wild like a wildfire, burning everything it touches.
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“Respect for elders” basicaly means: You have to (1) talk to someone in a way they can understand before (2) they can learn to understand you.
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To reverse this is to expect to be understood before learning to speak. It’s like going to say Japan and complaining that no one knows english. It’s rather entitled.
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Money is also another protocol. It’s useful for signalling in order to start relationships or smooth over them but it’s very poor as a final replacement for our relationship needs.
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End of conversation
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