You know why Chinese parents work so hard for their children, yet also treat them like trophies often? It's because they identify with the "Family". The willingness to sacrifice comes at the price of living through the child.
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This is something the US doesn't understand at all due to its emphasis on (pseudo) individuality. It doesn't see the "ideal" within this mentality and instead sees it as "hive like" or "robot like".
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This is a general conflict de-escalation tip... if someone is doing something terrible, try to imagine what kind of pure ideal would justify it.
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e.g. for WWII, underneath the wrapper layers of racism, it feels like the ideal was "We Desire Noble Lives" and kinda escalated a lot.
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